Getting It Alli Together

Getting It Alli Together

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Getting It Alli Together
Getting It Alli Together
It's hard to be bad at giving gifts in December.

It's hard to be bad at giving gifts in December.

If gifting is not your thing, I see you and I care.

Alli Hoff Kosik's avatar
Alli Hoff Kosik
Dec 06, 2023
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Getting It Alli Together
Getting It Alli Together
It's hard to be bad at giving gifts in December.
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I am not very good at presents.

If you have, at any point, received a gift from me and found it to be a successful effort, I’m thrilled to hear it. And yet, I can tell you with truly no doubt that finding myself at that finished, gift-wrapped product was not easy, and that there’s a very good chance that I lucked into landing the plane.

Please do not feel the urge to try to change my mind or reassure me on this. I am not seeking compliments. I am merely telling the truth.

And at a time of the year when the pressure to gift flawlessly is at an all-time high, it feels like an important truth to get out in the world.

I hate to go down the road of ~capitalism~ here, but let’s face it: we live in a world wherein the levers of buying and selling are a pretty big deal—a fact that’s only heightened during the holiday season. Buying the right gift for the right person from the right place has become a kind of shorthand for being the right kind of friend/partner/employer/employee/son/daughter/parent… and getting it at a price that’s right for you is a whole other matter entirely. If we’re lucky enough to have people in our lives who we want to shower with gifts, we feel that pressure all the more. And when those people happen to be amazing gift-givers themselves? Forget it.

What’s a nervous gift-giver to do?


Currently Reading: Three Holidays and a Wedding by Marissa Stapley and Uzma Jalaluddin

By now, you may have already heard that I’m a big fan of books written about and for the holiday season. Collecting and reading them is one of my favorite December traditions! I was super excited when the book club I run for my podcast decided it was time we chose a title in this vein, and after voting on a slate of very fun options, we landed on Three Holidays and a Wedding. I’m having an excellent time reading it so far! (It’s not too late to join in on the December book club! Learn more HERE.)


I know people have mixed feelings about the notion of “love languages”—and certainly about the man who made them famous—but I’ve found that reflecting on said love languages has had a calming effect on my insecurities about shopping for and giving presents. More or less every year, I tell myself that I’m going to knock it out of the proverbial park for the holidays. I’m going to get my shopping done early! I’m going to find the perfect item for everyone on my list, each one the perfect blend of creativity, function, and thoughtfulness! I’m going to march into every gift exchange full of confidence! I will resist the urge to nervously explain my choices to their recipients!

Spoiler alert: these things generally don’t happen.

Instead, I’m usually patting myself on the back at some point in mid-November because I’ve nailed it on one or two gifts, only to find myself in panic mode a few weeks later when I haven’t been able to find anything that feels good enough for the rest of the people I love.

Holiday season or not, I used to let this make me feel shitty. Sometimes, I still do. But thinking about my relationships in terms of love languages has taken the edge off.

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