What I've learned about being patient since being patient has been the only option

I would have liked to learn it faster, though.

I figured out long ago that patience—or, really, a lack thereof—is probably my biggest struggle. When practicing for interviews as a college student, I diligently prepared my answer to that big question that it seems everyone talks about but few people actually ask: “What is your greatest weakness?”

“I’m impatient,” I would say, pushing back my shoulders and straightening my J. Crew blazer. “I’m such a perfectionist, and it’s hard when I don’t see results quickly or when I don’t have control of how fast something happens.”

At the time, I laughed this off as a humble brag, but as I reflect on it now, I think it’s pretty annoying. Clearly, I had a lot to learn, and I’m lucky that I was given opportunities to succeed even when I thought that this attitude made me some kind of rare commodity or hot shot. Oops!

Yes, there’s been growth, but I can’t say that much of it has been in the patience department. Over the years, I’ve learned that much of what I once called impatience is really the physical manifestation of anxiety coursing through my body. Thanks to therapy and medication, I’ve been able to remove some of the edge there… and still, impatience has persisted.

Until, that is, this year.

Two things happened to me in 2024 that tested my commitment to Impatience As A Personal Brand:

1. I had a baby.
2. I sold my first book.

First, let’s state the obvious.

I’m thrilled about both of these developments. I was when they happened, and I still am. I’m aware of the fact that many, many people struggle for years to achieve either of these dreams and I don’t take for granted that I was lucky enough to have both happen within the space of a couple of months.

Babies (and small children, in general) are kind of known for testing your patience. Talk about a personal brand! When they want or need something, they tend to want or need something now, and if you want to avoid crying, screaming, and all manner of other misery, the race is pretty much on. It’s not a tiny human’s job to emotionally regulate the adults around them, and this is more or less what’s supposed to happen.

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Currently Reading: Christmas Is All Around by Martha Waters

You’ve seen this one on several of my recent book lists (HERE and HERE) and it has far and away exceeded my expectations. It might just land in my list of top-five favorite holiday rom coms! I especially recommend this if you’re a fan of Christmas movie nostalgia, excellent banter, hot Brits, and travels through quaint villages in the UK.

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The particular cocktail of a new baby and a nascent ~official~ author career left me drunk on just one thing, though: (say it with me) impatience.

You might imagine (because I certainly did) that after a couple of years of hustling the hell out of my debut novel in hopes of getting a traditional publishing deal, I would feel like I could chill, like there was nothing to be impatient about. But whether it’s the nature of the publishing industry alone or just the way it combined with new parenthood, these events of 2024 tested me in ways that I did not expect.